I thought that for a change of pace today, I would interview a cool kid. As I get older, I worry that I may be losing touch with the younger generation and want to insure that phrases like “Tubular” and “Cool Beans” are still just as relevant today as they were when I was a youth.
Jenny: Thanks for talking to me today, Snake. Why don’t you tell our readers a little about yourself? You know, the important deets. (That’s short for details. I’m a hipster and know these things.)
Snake: I’m 8 1/2 years old. I like riding my motorcycle, the color green, the movie August Rush, green beans, hanging out with my friends, and Power Tumbling. You can call me Snake, but I also like to go by Smelly McT.
Jenny: I’m just curious…since you seem to know a lot about being cool. Do people still say “Cool beans”?
Snake: Uh, no. No one ever says that, Mom. None of the cool kids, at least. We say awesome and sweet.
Jenny: Good to know. Tell me a little bit about what it’s like to be a cool kid. How about school? What’s your typical day like? What do you wear? Eat? Do?
Snake: I would probably wear baggy shorts, a t-shirt, and Nikes to school. I always pack my lunch. The perfect lunch to bring would be lasagna but I don’t know if it would stay hot enough. It might get gross. My favorite part of the day is recess. My friends and I usually play freeze tag.
Jenny: Do you invite other people to play with you or do you usually play with just your friends?
Snake: No. We like other people to play with us. After recess, we go back to class.
Jenny: What’s your favorite subject?
Jenny: So, is it cool to be smart? When I was a kid, sometimes people didn’t want others to know they were smart. They were afraid of being called a nerd.
Snake: No. It’s cool. Most cool kids are pretty smart. Top of the class, like me. But we really don’t care if people think we’re nerdy because part of being cool is just being who you are. Yourself.
Jenny: You are a wise kid, my friend. Okay. Tell me the coolest movie and TV show.
Snake: Spiderman. And I love AFV.
Jenny: Food, Sport, and Song?
Snake: Steak, football, and Boom Boom Pow.
Jenny: Last one. Actor and actress.
Snake: Peeta and Betty White.
Jenny: Ahh…Josh Hutcherson. Wait…what? Betty White?
Snake: She’s funny! She was on that cooking show you were watching. And that Snickers commercial.
At this point, I had to stop the interview because I was laughing so hard.
So, there you have it. What the Cool kids know. Now, you can be cool, too.
And cease to be an embarrassment to your children.
**Well, at least by accident. If you’re like me, you’ll totally still embarrass them on purpose. That’s your job, you know.**