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To be a soccer mom.

I know some people have an image of what they think a soccer mom is like.  Let me paint a picture for you.  Just an average weeknight in America…

She drives a cute minivan with a perky stick figure family, including pets, on the back window.  The rear compartment of her van is perfectly organized with snacks, first aid kit, chairs, blankets, umbrellas, and any other item that might come in handy.  Her kids enthusiastically pile into (and out of) the van, in full gear, ready to start each practice.  They are fueled with a healthy snack and have a dewy bottle of water to sustain them through the event ahead.  She is dressed in a cute ensemble and her hair is swept into a swingy ponytail that bounces as she cheers her children from the sideline.

Wrong.  Not even close.

I am here today to tell you what she really looks like.

She might drive a van but it is anything but organized.  Most likely it is full of random shin guards, empty water bottles, socks, and piles of grass collected at the various practices and games.  Yep, games.  That overlap.  In different cities.  Miles and miles apart.

Her children most likely eat their snack in the car because they spent the majority of their prep time searching for a shin guard (yep, the one in the car) or a sock (which is again, in the car) while soccer mom fills water bottles, swipes at the kids with sunscreen, looks for soccer balls, and throws on a baseball cap because who has time for a ponytail.

When she gets to soccer practice, she totally wants to cheer from the sidelines but she instead huddles in the car grading essays.  This is because she drove straight from her school to pick up child #3 from their school.  She then collected child #2 from tutoring/private euphonium lessons, headed home, and promptly left again.

She drops off child #2 at practice, runs child #3 to practice, goes back and picks up child #2,  then returns to child #3’s practice.  Keep in mind that during the practices, she is helping out whichever child is present with homework or chatting about their day.  Soccer mom is the ultimate, out of necessity multi-tasker.

But you know what makes it all worthwhile?The Woods³

These guys.

Well, mostly these guys.  And, of course …

Off season.